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Family Law Mediation in Mecklenburg County- Resolving Legal Issues Amicably

By Danielle Walle

Marcellino & Tyson
Marcellino & Tyson June 23rd, 2023

lawyer talking to a client inside an office

Family law mediation is a process that involves both parties and a neutral third party known as a mediator. In Mecklenburg County, North Carolina, there are resources available for individuals seeking to resolve their divorce through mediation. This comprehensive guide provides information on family law mediation in Mecklenburg County, highlighting its benefits, the mediation process, and important considerations:

1. Understanding Family Law Mediation

Mediation is collaborative, voluntary and non-adversarial. It is an alternative dispute resolution process where you and your ex-partner meet with a mediator to resolve your legal issues without going to court. It addresses legal matters including divorce, child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. A family law mediator promotes discussion and negotiation that allows the participants involved in a conflict or a dispute the opportunity to exchange divergent views, ask questions, discuss difficult topics and find solutions.

2. Benefits of Family Law Mediation

Family law mediation offers several advantages for couples and families involved in legal disputes, including:

  • Cost-effectiveness: Mediation is generally more affordable than litigation, as it eliminates the need for extensive court proceedings and reduces attorney fees.
  • Confidentiality: Mediation provides a confidential environment where parties can openly discuss sensitive issues without fear of public exposure.
  • Empowerment and Control: Mediation allows parties to actively participate in the decision-making process and maintain control over the outcome, fostering a sense of empowerment.
  • Efficiency: Mediation often leads to faster resolution of disputes compared to traditional court proceedings, saving time and reducing stress.
  • Preserving Relationships: By promoting cooperation and understanding, mediation can help preserve relationships, especially in cases involving children, and establish a foundation for effective co-parenting.

3. Family Law Mediation Process in Mecklenburg County

In Mecklenburg County, there are various avenues for family law mediation, including:

  • Courthouse Mediation Services: The Mecklenburg County Courthouse offers limited mediation services for child custody.
    Through one of Marcellino & Tyson’s experienced family law attorneys: It is advisable to consult with a family law attorney in
  • Mecklenburg County before proceeding with mediation. Attorneys can provide legal advice, prepare you for mediation, assist you in mediation, review mediated agreements, and protect your rights and interests throughout the process.
  • Mediation organizations: Mecklenburg County is home to mediation organizations that connect individuals with qualified mediators specializing in family law.

4. The Mediation Process Explained

A typical day of family law mediation begins with meeting at the mediator’s office. The parties involved will be in separate rooms with their respective attorneys. Once everyone is present, the mediator will make introductions and may call a joint meeting. At the joint meeting, the mediator will explain the rules of mediation. The mediator will introduce themselves and explain the rules of mediation. Generally, these rules include that mediators must be respectful, encourage mutual respect, may not coerce the parties in any way, and that settlement negotiations may not be used in court. In Mecklenburg County family law mediations, it is unusual that parties or their attorneys make opening statements. In fact, discussions of adversarial positions may happen, but usually not with both parties in the room. After the discussion of the “ground rules” and introductions, the parties, and their attorneys, return to their separate rooms.

There are no established “rules” for who makes the first offer in a family law mediation. However, it is common for a party who is requesting support to make the first offer. In some cases, it may be suggested that the other party make the first offer. The mediator will usually meet first with the party who is going to make the first offer.

The mediator will get background on the “story” of the case from whomever is making the first offer. It’s the time to share information about children, finances, perspective and goals. The mediator will review the offer and ask questions to understand it fully, including the “why” of the offer. This meeting usually takes between 60 and 90 minutes, but sometimes it can take 2-4 hours. The time in the room of the “first offer” flies by. However, as a person waits to receive that first offer, time moves very slowly. It can be a good idea to bring something to do to distract from the anxiety of waiting. It can be counterproductive to focus on the “what ifs” while you wait.

Once the mediator understands the first offer, the mediator brings it to the other room. Then it’s usually another 60-90 minutes of waiting. It can feel like much longer and sometimes take even longer. However, remember, this is the other side’s opportunity to tell the “story” of the case from their perspective, receive the initial offer, discuss it and understand it, and make a counter offer.

During the meetings with the mediator, the mediator helps the parties explore different options and test out possible solutions. In family law mediation, it is important to remember that the goal is to reach an agreement that works for both parties. This involves compromise and it is not uncommon for everyone involved to feel like they’ve lost some things during a mediation. However, the key is that you have control over what “losses” you’re willing to take.

First offer exchanges are usually completed in the early afternoon. Because of this, the mediator’s office usually orders lunch. After the first exchange of offers, it’s basically a rinse and repeat and both sides either agree, disagree, or make counter offers. The goal is that over the day, everyone moves closer together until they reach

A typical day of family law mediation consists of the following steps:

  • Separate meetings. The parties, and their attorneys, return to their separate rooms. The mediator will shuttle back and forth between the rooms to convey information and proposals between the parties. The mediator will also help the parties evaluate their options and interests, as well as the strengths and weaknesses of their positions. The mediator will not give legal advice or tell the parties what they should do. The mediator’s role is to facilitate communication and help the parties reach a mutually acceptable agreement.
  • Memorandum of understanding (MOU). If an agreement is reached on some or all of the issues, the mediator will draft a MOU that summarizes the terms of the agreement. The MOU is not legally binding until it is reviewed by the parties’ attorneys and signed by both parties (usually before a notary). Sometimes, if there is sufficient time and energy, instead of an MOU, the attorneys will draft consent orders and full separation agreements. However, these are more detailed and often can be completed only when the parties have reached an agreement more quickly.
  • Impasse. If no agreement is reached, the mediator will declare an impasse and terminate the mediation session. The parties may then proceed to litigation or try another form of dispute resolution.

5. Is Family Law Mediation Suitable for You

While family law mediation can be beneficial, it may not be suitable for every case. Situations involving domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health issues, power imbalances, or extreme hostility between parties may require alternative approaches. Seeking legal representation and exploring other dispute resolution options might be more appropriate in such circumstances.

By considering these factors and understanding the family law mediation process in Mecklenburg County, you can make informed decisions and work towards amicably resolving your legal issues. Remember, mediation empowers you to shape the outcome and find mutually agreeable solutions, ultimately minimizing stress, time, and expenses associated with court litigation.